abide with me

So my time is pretty much out here in the Madison Ward. Most likely I've got one week left unless God's got some great work for me to finish here. But I feel the change coming on. Its really sad to think about sometimes. There are some great wonderful people here I will really miss, members and investigators alike. Its such a bummer to spend enough time somewhere to really grow to love people and then just have to say well, see ya later!

I've learned so much in the past six months. Ha - which by the way, tomorrow I will have officially been out 6 months! Crazy huh!! I was thinking about how Tessa wrote that email that got sent around about all that she had learned in 6 months I think it was. Gosh I'd be here all day if I tried to pull that off. I wish I could. My life is changed. Forever. I found myself at a new spiritual level before I came out, having committed myself to the Lord in a way I never had even come close to. It was great, the progression I experienced. I feel like I'm just beginning to see the gigantic mountain that was at the top of that plateau I reached. Well, I saw it a while back. And now I'm just approaching the first few steps up the mountain. Or like I'm planning to climb Mt Everest and just arrived in Tibet. Like I finally got myself to get on the plane and fly to India, and now I'm riding on the bus to the Himalyas. Something like that. So much ahead of me. I look forward to it all. The great opportunities I have. In starting to understand my purpose here (on the earth) a bit better, it gives me so much more motivation to do things in life. To achieve more, to learn more, to see more, do more, be more. I need experience! I want to have the resources to be an instrument for the Lord! In any way!

Well anyway, there are some wonderful members out here that I have been privileged to get to know. People who magnify their callings and make real sacrifices for the Lord. I love it. I love to see people with so much faith. Who do things like work less to spend more time with their family, even though they barely scrape by from week to week. Good people out here. I hope I go somewhere where there are more good people. I really am nervous for the change. Change is the spice of life I suppose, but I know its going to be HARD for a time. More than likely. But as I continue to see week after week, the hard times are what make us grow. A LOT sometimes.

They say that the type of missionary you are out here is a direct reflection of the type of returned missionary you will be. Or the person you'll be when you get home kinda thing. I believe that is very true and the more I see and hear, it appears that going on a mission doesn't necessarily mean a thing for a kid if he doesn't take it seriously. I always wondered about people I'd meet in SLC who I knew went on missions yet did things I would think they wouldn't. Thats probably the kind of missionary they were. I’m sure most Elders do a lot of great things and help a lot of people. Even the disobedient ones. But then to go home and get so easily caught into the ways of the world and forget the importance of keeping the commandments and all that stuff...its a bummer to see. I'm not going to be like that. I feel like if I was going to be like that, I might as well come home now.

We’re teaching this lady named Vicki. Vicki Pantalone. She is great! Probably the most sincere and genuine investigator I've had yet. We've taught her about 4 times now, and now I have to say goodbye. Too bad. But she's one of those people that it feels good to be around. I'm almost sure that eventually she will join the church. I really hope so. She ought to. She would love it so much. Its bittersweet how little people know when they join the church, typically. Its only a drop in the bucket of what is out there for us to know. The TRUTH we have! I wish I could just give people a little taste of the overwhelming knowledge that is available to them. It overwhelms me! I have so much more than the people I teach, and I feel like I know nothing of what is out there for us. People just don't know! There is such wonderful purpose and understanding for us all, if we sincerely want it. It can take a lot of sacrifice and people just aren't into that these days it seems. Shame.

Well anyway, people like Vicki make me excited about life. About the mission, about families, about the gospel, etc etc. Everything. I like people like that. I hope I can be one for others. Someone that it just feels good to be around.

Everyone, thanks for being my awesome family. I'll always think of myself as one of the luckiest people in the world for that reason alone. Our family! I love being a missionary!

Elder Kunz