I love Fall

My people. Gosh I miss you all so much.

So is there still snow at home? Sounds like its cold. Getting pretty cold here as of late too, but not awful yet.

Last weekend, being conference, by the time it was all over, the whole weekend plus p-day, I felt like I had had a vacation! It was wonderful. P-day we did this little hike up to this tower. It was all through the forests and such and it was very beautiful. Reminded me a lot of Germany. And the tower was built by a German guy too. Anyway, it was so nice to go on a hike, get out in nature and just look around and enjoy the world. That, plus 2 days of insane spiritual fill and not much to worry about because we were just hanging around the church most of the day, it was a nice little break from the “daily grind.” Very nice.

So the other night it was like 10 o’clock and I was getting ready to go to bed and I heard a bunch of loud noises that sounded like gunshots but I kinda just said eh they’re probably not gunshots, there’s always a million things going down around here. Had it been gunshots it would have been a pretty nasty shoot out (but I have no idea what else it would have been). Well the next day we were walking down this street and there was a huge gathering of people at this one spot, in the street in front of this teeny tiny park. Maybe 50+ people. We walked through them to see this potential guy we’d met a while back and were hoping to visit. He lived just beyond the crowds. Turns out the guy we were looking for didn’t even live there. He musta been so high that he forgot his address when we talked to him the first time. Ha. Who knows. But the guy that did live there we ended up talking to for a few minutes and now were gonna go back and see him. Gods got a plan baby. Anyway, this guy asked if all those people down there were still there. We said yes and asked him what was going on. He said some kid died last night. Really!?! Dang. I was telling him I thought I heard a bunch of gunshot-like noises last night, he said that was probably it. Thought it was a shootout kinda thing too. Crazy man. The timeframe all matched up too. Wild stuff living in the ghetto. But I’m the Lords missionary, I’ll be okay.

We were riding our bikes last night. It was pretty cold. We rode a little ways, couple miles on this street that wasn’t too crowded. I just got lost in thought. Singing some songs I used to love when I could actually listen to them. I miss music so much. Anyway, it was so nice! Just riding my bike along at night in the cool weather, cruising through the city, thinking about stuff. I love that. I love riding a bicycle.

Its funny riding a bike as a missionary. I just look like a goof. White shirt, helmet, pants tucked into my sock, tie flapping all over the place. It just makes me laugh at myself the whole time I ride.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the past and future lately. Probably I should be focusing on the present, but I do that too. Anyway, seems in the past week or so I’ve been having a lot of instances come to mind of how much of a jerk I was in all my years past. To so many people! It sucks! Sometimes I knew I was being a hypocrite, but man, I was a serious hypocrite soooo many times! I feel stupid. I guess all I can do at this point is learn from my mistakes and do better from now on, but I can’t even tell half the people I’m sorry at the moment. And all of you guys, all the things that keep coming to mind of how rude or ungrateful or hypocritical I often was to/with you, I can’t even remember them all to say sorry about because there are so many of them. So please forgive me for all the times I was up on my high horse being selfish and all that. I hope I’m a lot better when we meet again and always. Thanks for your patience with me over all these years. I feel like a fool some days when I think back on different things!

I’m still a total hypocrite. I’m trying to stop. Everything I ask people to do out here, I feel like I can always think back to a time when someone has asked me to do, nearly, the same thing. And I didn’t do it. So its hard for me to expect people here to do it, because its hard! Its hard to change! To hard have the faith that the Lord will make everything work out if you make sacrifices for him. I definitely didn’t have that kind of faith in the past, or I would have come on a mission years ago! I had some faith, I did some things, but I was never willing to make the big changes that people need to make out here. Its especially hard because I know how much better their lives could be! I look at myself – my life was absolutely fantastic. I was so blessed in soo many ways. I had no room to complain about anything. And now I feel like my life has become so much better! Embracing the gospel has brought me to a place I couldn’t even have understood. Its wonderful (and I have sooo much further to go still!). People could have so much more purpose and understanding, but they have to change. And that is hard!! Its difficult to see ya know. How do you motivate people to make sacrifices?

I don’t know, hopefully I’ll figure it out or get over it or something. People honk the horn here in Hartford as often as they do in Europe. But in Europe its like hey there just letting you know I’m here in your blindspot or coming up on you or something. Hartford the horn means hey you stupid jerk get moving or get the heck out of my or something worse. People are nuts here! Everyone has food stamps. I don’t know if Connecticut just gives them away for free or something, but everyone seems to come here because its so easy to sit on the couch and collect welfare and all that. Its silly man, people don’t want to do anything. Entitlement. What a bummer. The world is a crazy place. What an insane blessing it is to have the gospel and to have an eternal perspective on all this. I love it. And I love fall. I love it so much! It just gives me such a beautiful feeling inside. I don’t know why. It feels good to me. It feels great. It makes me feel alive! It really does, which is kind of ironic because everything else is dying in the fall.

I just love you all! Sorry if sometimes my letters are boring for you. I just write some stuff. If I was just recounting the daily stuff, it would be more boring. Most of what happens is in my head. And I can’t remember it all because there is so much of it. I love thinking. I love reading the Book of Mormon. And I just started into Jesus the Christ. Slowly but surely. Its like 800 pages, so hopefully by the end of the mission I can get through it, but so far it’s a page turner! It is sweet! So much to learn on this earth. It overwhelms me.

I have been making some delicious meals full of vegetables. Some day when I have a little more money I am going to make such delicious food everyday! But I have to get rid of my horrid sweet tooth! And Halloween isn’t going to help!!

Love David