Its getting colder. Life is good. But a few days ago I would have said it was HARD so its still a rollercoaster. Its more good than less good though. Last night our ward had a small fireside much like the one the mission had a few months back. It was great. Our ward has some amazing musical talent as many of the younger folks are here to attend the Hartt School of Music. We got to hear some of them play their instruments last night. There’s also this couple who are professional singers who sang and they were aaaawesome. This one girl played, Oh Divine Redeemer, on the violin with a piano accompaniment. It was SWEET! I love music so freaking much! It has such amazing power upon us. Ha, Elder Tanner (who is from RIRIE, Idaho and is awesome!!) and I sang a song in it too, since it was just a little ward thing and not a huge deal. We sang Joseph Smiths First Prayer. It was kinda cool to sing to people, I’ve never really done it before.
This past week was tough for a few days. I was feeling myself sinking back into mediocrity. I despise mediocrity! I have to do better and Satan knows that and he is after me! Ha, sounds funny, but its no lie. I start to notice how subtle he is and the strange, often unnoticable ways he uses to get to us. He knows our weaknesses and uses them any way he can. Tough stuff. I just can’t stand the thought of being a “run-of-the-mill” missionary. I can do better than that and I have to do better than that. As a missionary and as a person. I have to push myself. I can do that while running, but its hard in life. Hard to develop self mastery and bridle my passions. Don’t get too comfortable. Mom you sent me that quote a few weeks back like “there is no growth in comfort and no comfort in growth.” Beautiful. SO true but very hard to live day by day. I try. I gotta rise up.
Reaching potential, that’s what I want to strive for, that kinda thing. Its kinda scary though. Scary in the sense that we all have an insane amount of potential. I feel like every person could accomplish sooooo much in life and that most of us probably don’t for different reasons. Perhaps there is a line to walk, a balance to find between achievement and whatever else. I was feeling like reaching my potential is almost out of reach. It would demand so much of me that I don’t feel like I could make it. Maybe that makes it a dream, not my potential. But then I heard something the other day, I don’t remember what, that made me think, well, I have my whole life to reach this potential, and in the long long run, I suppose I have eternity. So that’s nice. But right now, I’m a missionary and my time is defined and limited, and I would like to reach my potential as a missionary. I want to have a real feeling of “Well done thou good and faithful servant.” It overwhelms me sometimes, the mistakes I make each day, and the things I leave out on the table. Its hard to be a flawed human being, knowing I just can’t be perfect. I get so confused about his kind of stuff sometimes. I feel like Nephi in 2 Nephi 4: 17-19 I think it is. Ah I could go on about this but I won’t. I’ll just say that I worry about potential. And reaching it. Or not reaching it, thats what I worry about. I hate to settle for things, to feel mediocre, but I am lazy sometimes! Its such a waste!
Alright, enough about that, I don’t even know what I was talking about. Its getting cold here. Might warm up a bit this week, but I am afraid for the dead of winter. I’m going to be doing a lot of walking around in it and it was a mild summer which probably means cooooold winterrrrrrrr. Yikes. Send me some long johns. We’re going to hike to this tower thing that we did 2 weeks ago again today to try and catch some good colors. I don’t see a lot of what is around in Connecticut of the leaves because I’m in the city. It’s a fair trade I suppose, cause I’m enjoying the city. Ooh but sometimes you catch a tree that is just mind blowing. My absolute favorite is when the outside of the tree has changed to bri;ght red, but the inside leaves, closer to the trunk and branches are stilll green. It looks so awesome. So vivid and bold. I like boldness. I like it with leaves and I like it with people, when they are bold. Say it straight.
Yes, the colors really are nice here in CT. But the humidity makes the cold and especially the wind AWFUL. Hopefully my coat turns out to be WARM! That’s all I got ya all. Enjoy the Fall cause Fall is the best. I want to speak Spanish and 97 other languages. I want to play 97 instruments too. I’ve been having these little glimpses in my mind of how long life is going to be, how much there is ahead of me. Its strange kinda. There’s so much I look forward too, but so much of it is sooo far away. But I’m sure it will be here before I know it. Seems it always is. Yesterday I have been out 8 months. 1/3. Dang. I’m a missionary. Still catches me by surprise sometimes. I’m always so happy when I think that I am though. Soo soo happy. Absolutely the most wonderful and best thing I could ever do. Learn so much! Love it! Even though its really hard. The Lord blesses me like crazy though.
Love Love Love Everyone
Elder David
