Oh the winds of Change!

Familia. The winds of change are blowing hard my way and bringing what I'm quite sure will be a LOT of responsibility and work. I'm kind of terrified, but whom the Lord calls he qualifies. Elder Tharp is leaving. My papa is moving on. I'm getting Elder Halworth I believe, who has been out for quite a while, so I'm hoping he's to where he just wants to work super hard and do a lot of great things; because there are great things to be done here. We shall see. So I will be the area authority, so to speak, which will be tough at times. The area next to ours, I think I mentioned, is closing, so our area is getting much bigger. I've sat down with Elder Seamons and gone over all the important people there and am praying that we can rise to the occasion and not let anyone fall through the cracks. I believe he has kept good records for us though.

It feels like I'm going to be running a business or something. And suddenly I have more responsibility with less resources to do it all with. Bigger area, same amount of (possibly even less) miles, and less man power. Whew!! Gonna be riding my cycle around more, which will be good. The whole part of taking over the area isn't even what overwhelms me the most. The mileage does a little, but we have some things we do with the ward here that will give us a lot of responsibility. A LOT of coordinating with people and scheduling and stuff like that. I don't like that and it makes me want to scream a little bit sometimes. A system needs to be reworked. I know I'm being ambiguous, but I don't want to explain the whole thing. It’s just a lot. Hopefully, I'll be really good at working with people here in a few weeks.

They say that fear and faith cannot exist together. Well I'm a little afraid here and I feel like that means I'm not trusting the Lord. I'm hoping and hoping things will work out and we will figure it all out and make a system that works for us, but it still scares me many times. SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY! I know its a great blessing too, and that I'll grow a lot from it, Elder Seamons has told me those kinds of things. That I'll look back and love it. That’s wonderful and I can't wait and hope that I will grow a ton and become much better from it all but I'm still scared. Still worried. I'm excited to work with someone else though. Elder Tharp is a fantastic Elder. He really, really is, and I am going to miss him a lot when he's gone I know. I have learned SOO much from him. He's been a wonderful example of so many things. Its been a blessing to have him as a trainer.

It still just continues to blow my mind, all the blessings one receives by going on a mission and working hard. The situations we are in, the people we meet, the things we see and are exposed to. The growth, and opportunity, the list goes on. Anyone who really understood it would be absolutely crazy not to go on a mission. But I really don't think it is possible to understand, no matter how many people tell it to you in the most vivid detail, all these blessings without actually being out here. Being out here with a sincere heart and all. Its just unbelievable.

I really need to remember that myself sometimes. This last few days have been extremely difficult. Friday I found myself again at one of the lowest points I have yet had. So overwhelmed with the task ahead of me and all it will entail. Again, its frightening at times. I continued in a relatively low state for much of the weekend until Sundayish. Gosh it was no fun. I'd think of all kinds of things. Just smile. I'd try to smile when I was feeling down. I'd try so hard. Smiling just did not help. It felt like I was wearing two left shoes or something. Lindsay wrote me a letter a while back, mentioning some things about attitude and how it all comes down to your attitude. I thought about that and it did help a little bit, but most things were fleeting. It was tough.

Sunday was a bit better. Great sacrament meeting. There are a choice few people out here who are just fantastic Latter Day Saints. Admirable people. I love them! One of them gave a talk, so you can imagine that it was good. It was on service. By sunday afternoon I was doing better. We had this one appointment with this lady Joyce. She is Episcopalian in the way that... maybe the Flades or somebody like that are Mormon. She is down with Jesus and lives her life accordingly. We've got her into the Book of Mormon and such. We've actually been teaching her for quite a while (one of our few success stories from tracting). Been over a lot of important things like authority, but she just won't take to it. BUT - we've taken a few choice members over there that she's taken a liking to, who took the liberty of inviting her over for dinner and a few ward activities (great example of GOOD fellowshippers), and she seems to be warming up a little more.

Last night we shared a message about them BOM at a little dinner party they all had. There were a few things I had wanted to maybe say, but thought they might be too bold in front of everyone, and didn't want Joyce to react funny. But these two sisters pretty much ended up telling her all the things I wanted to by telling her some stories and testimonies and such after we shared our message. It was so perfect!! Seriously. I couldn't have written them a script that would have been so good. Exactly what I thought Joyce needed to hear, from the mouth of a more independent source than a missionary. Oh the importance of members.

Being a missionary is wonderful! Oh it is such a joy! I love it every minute of the day! Constant smile on my face!

Thanks to all of you for everything.

You're all the best and I love you soooooo much!!!!

SonBrotherDavid