Do good feel good

All my darlings! Ha its Wednesday. Monday nothing was open, and yesterday we were mad busy doing service and teaching wonderful lessons. So this ones a little late. Anyway, ITS HOT OUTSIDE! Hot humid and hazy as they say. No rest for the weary from it either. This morning at 7 AM walking across the parking lot it was STILL insane heat. I don't think it cooled down at all last night. Today we're inside most of the day preparing some stuff for a meeting tomorrow, so thats kinda nice cause I guess its gonna be even hotter! Last summer was mild, so I guess this summer I have to feel the burn. Not getting off that easy!

Well this week's been pretty good. Always good lately for the most part. I got to go to this meeting with President Pehrson and some other missionaries where we'd just talk about issues and other things in the mission. It was awesome. Problem solving. I love it. It was absolutely great. Then we go and relay these things to the District Leaders in another meeting that we conduct. I loved this too. It was obviously my first time at all this, but it was mostly a big discussion about certain topics. It was great. For some reason I so much enjoy discussing challenges and things like that. Like, here's the problem, this is what we're working with, what do we do about it, how do we solve it, what direction do we go, etc. Good times.

So things with our investigators continue to progress almost flawlessly. I do not understand how or why, well actually, they're just truly prepared by the Lord, that's how. But it amazes me to see it! I've become so used to struggling with a number of different things with everybody we teach. Can't keep this or that commandment, or has an crazy busy schedule, or just can't wrap their head around this doctrine, or whatever else. The list seems to be endless. But I don't think Talitha, Nicholas, or Alexandra have ever seen this list. I'm not accustomed to teaching people like this. Its not that they have zero concerns at all, because they do have things that come up. I guess the difference is that they have this incredible willingness to change. To stop doing these things and start doing those things. Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy will be hard for Nicholas, and he was a little bit worried about it I think. Nevertheless he seems to be totally willing to do it. And because of that I know it won't be hard for long because he will start to see the great blessings that come from honoring the Lord on His day.

Talitha has concerns too, but she has the same attitude. She's been feeling this awful darkness from time to time that she knows is the adversary, and she knows its not right, but of course she hates feeling it. But she knows all the things it makes her feel are false. This woman is special. I know because of this opposition she is facing, and because the Lord is preparing SO many ways for her to be brought into this church. Things just work. We've had so many appointments at members houses, which is usually a royal pain to coordinate because of people's schedules, and often times just finding someone who will hopefully click with the investigator, and a member who is willing to do it. But with Talitha, everyone wants to have her over, schedules are free, and every time she goes somewhere, its like they're friends by the end of the visit. Last night this happened again and I was just like Wow. You've got to be kidding me, how are things working SO perfectly?! It is such a blessing. All things work together for them that love God. After Church Sunday Elder Tanner asked Talithat how it was (church). She said it was great. This parts good - she said there weren't any weird things that happened, opening up to the right page, singing the same song, or whatever else like that. No coincidences. "But I don't need those anymore. I know this is where I'm supposed to be." Ha! Yea baby! So awesome!

I had this great experience at Church on Sunday. One of those redeeming moments of sorts. I felt awful when I got to church. I felt pretty rotten the night before too. I was overwhelmed with some things. I felt real strange. Kinda crazy-like. I was happy and sad at the same time. I think I was just becoming exhausted. Like really really exhausted. I woke up Sunday morning and felt like I had been hit by a train! My body was totally drained. And it was fast Sunday. Perfect! Ha, well, I think mostly what was getting me down, was that I was thinking about after this transfer, when Elder Tanner leaves, and Nicholas, Alexandra, and Talitha are all baptized, our teaching pool is going to become a small puddle of water. Hmm... that stinks. I hate not having people to teach. We have one other legit couple were working with, but they're on more of the long term road to conversion. Anyway, I was getting real down thinking about just starting over and still not having a grasp on the area and all the people and members and all. I was kinda scared! And it was really dragging me down. And I knew it was such a waste and so foolish for me to think this way. I'm in the middle of watching 3 prepared souls come into the church on these beautiful roads to conversion. And I could easily let that be ruined by worrying about what will happen when they're baptized and we don't have many more people to teach. It was so stupid and it bums me out that I wasted so much energy worrying on it. I think it was just one of those moments for me where I was stuck.

Long story short, at church second hour, gospel principles, the lesson was on Eternal families. The guy teaching did a great job. Well, I made a comment toward the end about something he said that I really liked. For whatever reason, after I made this comment, everythying was fine. It was like an on/off switch. Complete turnaround. It was incredible.

The comment was along these lines, if I can remember correctly. There's this statement made by S. Michael Wilcox that people matter more than things. I love that. I think about it a lot. You hear a lot of parents make the comment that as they've had children, and more children, that they love them more and more. That their capacity to love increases. I think it is so wonderful and neat that God does that for us. People, our relationships that we make here on earth, have an eternal nature. Things do not. Material things of this world. The things we cannot take with us. But the people we can. The goodness and love that we feel for one another isn't just an earthly ordeal. All of this can go on forever. And I think it is such an incredible blessing that with these things that are eternal, God increases our capacity to accumulate. We can learn to love more and more and more as we give of ourselves. As we serve one another, we gain more, and of these things that we gain more of, those are the things that we can take with us. I think that is wonderful! How perfect. We often want to give things to people we love. When we love people, suddenly we become so willing to give up the material things to them. They don't matter to us because of our love for the person.

And I love that this principle is the same for all people, rich or poor. The more we give, the more we are given. The scriptures teach us this. It was one of those things that I think I knew, but finally learned as I pondered during this lesson, and especially spoke up about. I felt the spirit in me.

The issue I was having, which I think I realized in sacrament meeting, but was having a hard time internalizing, was that I had lost faith. I put my trust in myself, and forgot about the Lord. Why should I worry about having people to teach! I'm a missionary. I'm in the Lord's service. If there are people out there, he'll bring us to them, or them to us. It is said that fear and faith cannot co-exist, and I definitely experienced that this weekend. Right now we have people to teach, and if we had more, we might not be able to give adequate attention to the wonderful people we have now. When we have more time, perhaps the Lord will bless us with some new people. I've been able to trust that he will do that now. Man its so awful getting into these ruts! These awful feelings we feel from time to time. Sometimes I really do need a kick in the pants to get me back on track. Amazing how easy it can be to loose sight of something when we start doing things out of habit rather than sincerity. Know what I mean?

Okay, I'm done with all the deep stuff. Fortunately this awful moment I had really was but a small moment. I felt the joy of redemption just by saying a few words. Truly as we give of ourselves we are given more in return if we do it with the right heart.

Time is definitely starting to go a bit quicker. It worries me. Its such an interesting thing, it seems like everyday I dream about home and how much I miss this or that, but everyday I tell myself that I don't want to leave! Missions are crazy.

Oh one more thing on the subject of eternal families and all, I've been taking a lot of comfort in thinking about all these people I meet out here and how great some of them are, yet how temporary my relationship is with them. Soon I'll be gone and might never see them again in my life! That kinda stinks. But life is short! Someday, we'll all be together again with our Heavenly Father. And it will be lovely. All these wonderful people. Nice.

Love you guys! Hope your enjoying HALF the temperature we are out here! Peace!

ELder Kunz